Starting a Day Home and looking to build the right foundation with new child

[godsgirl]

Hi there! I am new to this group and I am starting my day home in a handful of weeks. Truth is, I am sooooo nervous. I already have a full time 2 year old and his 5 year old sister (she is FT in the summer, PT during school) lined up to start next month but now I am having apprehensions. I had the family come over last week so we could meet and the family seems really nice. My problem is that the 2 year old seemed to have A LOT of energy (laid on top of my coffee table, was trying to climb my sons playpen, chasing my dog, etc). His parents were pretty good about it though (staying on top of it, redirecting him, talking to him calmly and showing him what is appropriate). I really think he just needs to know his boundaries and know what he is/is not allowed to do.

My question is: I was wondering if anybody had any ideas or suggestions as to how to start building those boundaries day 1 so that it gets nipped in the butt right away.

I'm not in a rush to fill all my spots during this summer as I have had tons of families looking for when school starts so I was thinking about just spending the next 2 months building a good foundation with him prior to having any other children coming. I figure this way I'll know whether or not it is going to work for him as I believe that every child deserves a fair chance.

Honestly, after I met the family I felt confident that I could handle him as I've had experience with working with difficult children in larger group settings (day camp, teaching Sunday School, etc) but my neighbor knows the family and mentioned that they said they were coming to me and I told him that I was really excited. He then said 'yeah they are great but 'he' (I'm assuming he meant the boy) is well...' and then he made a face. And said 'I guess you'll find out on your own'. I hate gossip so I just left it at that because I want to make my own opinions on people. But now he has me second guessing. Bah!!!

Thanks so much for your help! :D

[Inspired by Reggio]

IME children in 'care' often behave much better for us than they do in other social settings ... I have a little dude whom I know his family in a 'social manner' as well who at home, relatives and school is a totally different child than in my daycare program .... here my rules are simple but consistent ... you respect yourself - you keep safe, you respect others - keep them safe, you respect our environment - keep it safe .... so every choice they make is brought back to those two questions ... is that 'respectful' and 'is that safe' .... you do not climb on furniture because that is not respectful you could break it - it is not safe because you could break it ... and so forth.

When kids are new IME it is about being consistent each and every time they take a misstep being there to remind them - 'at Godsgirl's house we do X' so that they learn the rules and expectations and consequences for poor choices!

Also remember that this is YOUR house and business ... during arrival and pick up is a stressful time for kids and often that time where many behaviors tend to 'pop up' for some kids so if parents are not QUICK to stop inappropriate behavior, ideally BEFORE it happens, I will step in and redirect and deal with their behavior - because while the parent is here it is still my home and I am not going to allow a child's behavior during that time to cause something to get broken nor do I want the other children in my program to think that during times when other adults are here it is 'free for all' to behave like little weenies cause they think I will not step in - WRONG ;)

I guide and manage behavior the same no matter WHO is here and they know that so as a result (with the exception on one family who is on the countdown to leaving) all my kids behave awesome during arrival and departure and the one family often gets firmly told to just pick up your child and GO with the kid kicking and screaming because I will not have behavior like that in my home being role modeled to others specially since your kid is in school now and knows better and is playing you :rolleyes:

[Momof4]

I think the children behave much better for us than they do for their parents because we have to be strict and enforce all of our rules all the time. I believe consistency and routines and rules pay off quickly if you enforce them over and over with new children. I use the timeout chair but only for a minute or less depending on the age of the child, then I hold their hands and talk to them face to face about what they did wrong and how it is not allowed at my house. I'm also not afraid to use my stern voice and my stern face.

To tell you the truth, this is why I like to start the children as babies because I can 'train' them as they grow. I've just accepted a 2 year old into care starting July and I'm going to be in your shoes, saying the same thing over and over and over until he gets it. And I know that's the way it will be, but I am a stubborn woman and the children in my daycare are very well behaved. That's not an accident - that's hard work on my part!

[godsgirl]

Thank you both so very much! You have set my heart at ease. I kept telling myself that chances are he's just acting that way because 1) he doesn't know my expectations and boundaries 2) chances are he will act better when his parents aren't there as most kids normally do. Thank you for the suggestions on how to create a good foundation I will definitely be implementing these things! :)