What would you do? Breakfast and dinner

[withtheweeones]

Hi all,
I just opened my daycare last month. I have a 2yo dcg that comes M/W/F. She is a dream. Mom is great to deal with!! Drops her off at 830 picks her up at 330.

My other family hasn't even started yet and I am already frustrated. Initially mom said full time care starting June, then in May when I was trying to get all my ducks in a row she said "oh no 3 days a week I am off the other two" then it changed to two and starting July. Ok fine.
So she finally got the paperwork done and to me and (in my agreement my hours are 730-6 you pick the hours you are here) she picked 830-530 of course. (her husband works from home but does travel occasionally and she is a dr (my dr actually) and only works til 2 tuesday and starts at 2 on Thursdays)
I also stupidly assumed that it would be school time care come sept but she has made it clear that this is for the summer and she is not sure what she wants to do come the fall.

They are Muslim and have Ramadan coming up in August. Her and her husband will be fasting but not the kids. I asked if there were any special Ramadan activities I can do with the kids and she said "no, just feed the kids because I won't feel like making dinner, just kidding - kind of"
I said ok no problem. just thinking a light snack but now i am thinking she means a full out dinner so I do have to clarify that.

Then today she sends me this email "Ive been meaning to mention to you that since the kids are sleeping late (as the days are longer) they are of course waking up a bit later as well. It was nice when I could just get ready and walk out the door.. and XXX would take over!

Anyhow, I will be bringing them to your place sometime between 830 and 845 because I need to be at work by then.. I'll get them changed but Im not sure how much of a breakfast they will have had.. I hope that isn't a problem for you.. let me know if you have any issues with that.."

I only have these two kids twice a week and my other girl the other three days but really at 40$ per kid/per day for the siblings I need the income, never mind the fact that our daughters and sons are the exact same age and our daughters are attending the same FI program for school come the fall so we will be interacting A LOT. I HAVE to keep things on a good note.

What I WANT to say and what is APPROPRIATE to say are two different things. Do I ask her to bring breakfast for the kids?

I SUCK at trying to get my point across....(obviously since this post is so long! ) Please help!! What do I say back to her?
They start tomorrow??
Thanks
Lisa

[Momof4]

Eeeek, I hope the Mom comes around to follow your rules very soon, but if it were me I would be laying down the law TOMORROW!!!

Ok, I have questions. What time do you serve breakfast, lunch and afternoon snack? Do you have everything in writing in your contract? Did you take a deposit and insist on payment and attendance rules?

My rules are as follows: Breakfast is served between 8-8:30 so children arriving after 8:30 must be fed or they will not eat again until lunch at 11:30. The reason for this is that we go outside at 9am and don't come back in the house until 11ish.

I have naptime from 1-3 and all children must lay down. When they are all awake at 3ish after diaper changes we have the afternoon snack.

Breakfast here consists of two items: breakfast sausage & croissant, pancake & fruit, etc.
Lunch consists of: a protein, two veggies, a grain item and a fruit item
Afternoon snack consists of two items: cold veggie strips with cheese, crackers & fruit, etc.

I will not feed the children at any other times or negotiate on my hours or naptimes and would not put up with somebody messing around with start dates or payments. All of the things you listed here are what we call big RED FLAGS.

Good luck, but mark my words, if you don't get everything organized and under control quickly this woman will just keep making your life miserable.

[withtheweeones]

I don't have anything about breakfast in my contract because personally unless I had to drop my child off at 6 am they would be fed breakfast before they went.
This is my schedule in my handbook:
7:30am Centre Opens - Free Play
8:30am Get ready and walk (weather permitting) or drive school aged children to school/bus stop
9:30 am Circle Time – songs, books, weather, calendar
10:00 am SnackTime
10:30 am Outside Play (weather permitting) - activities include visiting local parks, going on walks and bike rides, or remaining at the daycare yard
11:30 am/ Lunch
12 noon Tidy up lunch and Brush Teeth
12:30 am Quiet Book Time before Nap
12:45 pm Naptime - Children remaining awake may do books, puzzles, other quiet activities
while others sleep
2:15 pm Snack Time
3:00 pm Go pick up older children from school. Weather permitting - outside play in the yard
3:30 pm School yard play or inside play
6:00 pm Centre Closes

She did pay a deposit of the last two weeks. From what she has said she is paying for the full month tomorrow.

In part I do understand because she is use to having a nanny. She seems dissatisfied with her current provider that comes to her home does her laundry, cleaning and cooking. (But will also take the kids to her own home to watch TV as they do not have a tv) I also understand most people think "I am paying for it so I am using the time" theory. I will probably remove the hours I am willing to work and ask people what hours they are looking for.

my am snacks are always served with fresh fruit and milk (afternoon with water) with things like yogurt/cherrios, cheese and crackers, raisin bread ect. Lunches vary (I did buy Halal chicken nuggest just for them) with chicken nuggets, grilled cheese, wraps, and veggies either salad or cut veggies

My kids are awake at 7am at the latest and start breakfast at 730ish. Because I don't have breakfast "scheduled" should I ask that she sends them breakfast?

[Momof4]

See, this is why we are all different and have to do what is best for us no matter what advice we receive from others. My schedule is quite different from your schedule. But if you and your family are eating breakfast really early in the morning and this child is arriving at 8:30 I would definitely tell the Mom that the child should be fed before arriving or he will have to wait until morning snacktime as per your schedule. I would not be changing my routine for one specific family.

Remember that you will be adding more families eventually as you grow and your rules are the only rules. Do you really want a child sitting and eating, even food brought from home, at 8:30am? Will that interfere or annoy you when you have several other children in care and your schedule says 'freeplay'? Just thinking ahead for you. Believe me, I've learned the hard way that if you let a family have special treatment they will push you on more and more and more as you go along. Best to be tough from day one.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Yes ~ based on your schedule I would require the children to be fed prior to arriving to program ... if mother is a DR she should know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and should be planned for in HER routine with them to establish healthy eating habits in her children ~ honestly when they are in school is she going to send them to school without breakfast cause she needs to be at work by 9 and they did not want to go to bed until 10 pm so she is dragging them out of bed in the morning ....whose the ADULT in these homes?

I think it was Barbara Colorosa who said 'A good day starts the night before' ... plan your day backwards if you need your child to be up and fed and out the door by 8:30 am and they need an hour to have time to do that with out stress and rushing than you need to be up by 7:30 am which means you need to be starting bedtime routine at 7pm so that they are in bed and calm and heading to sleep for 7:45 - 8 so they are getting enough sleep! If it being 'light' outside is a challenge get your kids BLACK OUT curtains for their bedroom so they are not affected ~ you do not just let them stay up to 10 pm when it gets dark naturally?

My schedule I have a couple clients who get 'away' without feeding them some mornings because we have morning snack which consists of breakfast like items at 8:45 - 9 am and their kids role out of bed at 8:15 and get dropped off just in time for morning snack.

I feed them roughly at 9, 12 and 3 because that is what works for my routine and schedule allowing for 3 hours between snacks and meals which is suggested to be a good 'stretch' for our insulin regulation / production and so forth.

[apples and bananas]

I have parents who started with me on a regular schedule, same drop off time... then mom decided to work from home. Ever since then I get "XXX didn't really eat much" or " they just woke up" No structure at home! So I started saying "oh, ok well snack time is in an hour, I'm sure we'll be ok until then" ect. She got the point. Now she either feeds them or drops them closer to snack time. LOL Your client has given you an opportunity to respond. She said right in her email " I hope it's not a problem for you " It IS a problem. let her know, I feel snack at XXXX time. I do not supply breakfast. You have to put your foot down somewhere otherwise it's all over. She'll keep walking all over you. You're not the nanny, your the daycare. They are 2 very different things.

[country girl]

My daycare is opening in September and my kids are currently at a home daycare (have been for 4 years) and I have never asked my provider to provide breakfast - my kids are dropped off fed, clothed & clean...even when they have been up late the night before for whatever reason, I get them up in enough time to get dressed & eat (even fed them in the car a few mornings lol)
IMO, if I keep my kids up late for whatever reason, wether we have been visiting at friends or whatever, that is MY problem not my daycare providers. And I would never expect her to adjust her day because my child was tired or whatever...she goes on with her program as usual and it all works out ok

[Judy Trickett]

This woman is treating you like a nanny. You provide GROUP care which means you have a set schedule and a routine and everyone does what is on your schedule at the same time. If a kid comes after snack time then they miss out on snack. If you do not serve breakfast or serve it earlier than someone's arrival time then they do not get breakfast.

You need to put your foot down with this lady. She is treating you like her personal nanny. It doesn't work that way.