Moderating the forum

[mimi]

ditto ladybug and happymomma

[momofnerds]

now that makes sense, there's a missing post. I was wondering why the parent would say that. I will say that its a bit harsh to say that the parent keeps her child in a crate, all the mom was asking was about transition and how long.

[Fun&care]

My "homophobic rant" closed the thread?. Hmmm. Transgender is not the same as homosexual first. Secondly I said I would NOT call a boy a girl or a girl a boy. I would not refer to a boy as a she or her. I would not refer to a girl as a he or him.

“I" don't want to do that. “I" won't be forced to play pretend.

That has nothing to do with my opinion on homosexuality. Accusing me of that is a bully move. I won't be undone because the TRUTH is the TRUTH. I believe in saying the truth and not engaging in pretend.

I have to say, on a side note, that I agree with daycare whisperer on this one. I have absolutely nothing against gays, or transgendered ppl. But there is a big difference between an adult vs child who thinks they are transgendered. I would feel like I was lying to the child, lying to the other children also by calling them by the opposite sex. And at the end of the day, as body is a body and there is no arguing whether it male or female. I dunno. Tough subject.

[daycarewhisperer]

Many people (I was one of them) were able to call the parent poster out for bringing her child back to this care situation knowingly without comparing her transgender child to someone mentally delusional. I stand by my points.

I am also 100% sure that one of your posts is missing from the aggressive child thread. The one where you have suggested that the child was locked at home and kept in a crate in response to her saying he wasn't socialized? I was also shocked by that one, and I know for a fact you wrote those words. That was the post which made the parent react the way she did in her response. I don't know where it went, if you removed it, or if the mods did, but isn't it funny the way the rest of the posts are rational and wonderful advice and the parent looks irrational for reacting to your post? Funny how the removal of just that one post changed the way the forum looked at the post and the way the parent poster is viewed.

This is why I don't want to be lumped in together, mamaof4. If there is a troublemaker causing a post to go out of hand, deal with the troublemaker and don't call us all out. That's all I'm saying. I think it's a reasonable request going forward.

Well, I'm done with this thread. Have a nice day.

You are 100 percent incorrect. I have NEVER pulled a post I wrote on this forum. Not once ever. To my knowledge I haven't had one pulled either. The parent came up with the crate line.

Mods should have full access to all posts pulled and edited. They need to step up and clear up the crate post and also confirm that I haven't written what you just accused me of.

I hope you didn't just make this up from thin air. Being mistaken is one thing... doing thisintentionally is quite another. I

[mimi]

Transgender children are the ones living the lie and the stress of living as the gender you were not meant to be....well, I can only imagine. I prefer to deal with a child's gender orientation rather than the appearance of what they were born with. There is no lying to support such a child or even a child who is confused and needs to work through their gender identity. Children are more able to work outside the stereotypes and simple explanations as to why Johnny wants to try to be Joanne will not cause the other kids to do the same. Just as being homosexual is not contagious and is part of the persons genetic make up.
This is my opinion, it is not meant to attack anyone, and I hope my words reflect a person who is accepting off all persons who want to be who they feel they need to be as long as they do not hurt themselves or anyone else.

[steellotus]

I remember the deleted post as well. I can't say who wrote it, I do not recall, but there was absolutely a message that accused the parent of keeping the child locked up in a crate.

[daycarewhisperer]

I remember the deleted post as well. I can't say who wrote it, I do not recall, but there was absolutely a message that accused the parent of keeping the child locked up in a crate.

I didn't see that. I know I didn't write that. I know the mom said she didn't keep her kid locked up in a crate for sure.

This is a perfect example of why pulling posts can lead to argument and hard feelings when if the post was left alone it would be easily corrected.

[ladyjbug]

I have to comment again because you are making some serious accusations about ME and my character here and you are not being truthful. I would only say those things if I was totally sure YOU said them.

Read the post made by Island 29, post #16 on that thread. It indicates that the earlier inflammatory post was made by daycarewhisperer. Daycarewhisperer responds to Island29 in post #20. All earlier posts by daycarewhisperer do not appear on that thread which indicates that the earlier inflammatory post made was removed. I did not state for sure who had removed it, only that it had been. Read it and draw your own conclusions. I am 100% sure that she made the comment about the crate and 100% the reason the parent reacted the way she did.

[jammiesandtea]

I don't have all of the email notifications/copies of the replies in that thread, so I don't really know or remember whether or not there was a post that specifically said, "locked in a crate", but I'm wondering if the mom's use of that phrase was in response, and embellishing a bit, to playfelt's post, which I'll copy below:

playfelt: "Why can't you take him out in the mornings when playgroups exist if he is only in care in the afternoon?

Daycare is not where you learn to socialize as another poster said. Yes YOU need to take him to places and help him work though the process of getting along with others. What did you do with him for the first two years of his life - keep him locked up at home, never visiting a park, neighbour, playgroup? He spent two years being the kingpin of the kingdom and well doesn't like that he is now just one of the courtiers well too bad - a lesson all kids must learn. Being one of the crowd sucks for sure when you have been taught the world will cater to you. Sounds like you have a lot of lessons you need to teach your child before they will be ready to enter society. Don't blame your lack of training on the provider or children in care. The responsibility rests with you so get out there and enjoy those playgroups with your son."

She uses the phrase "locked up at home", NOT in a crate... but maybe the mom was just embellishing it a bit for indignant effect.

Edited to clarify that I am NOT posting this to try and throw playfelt under the bus here, because for the record, I feel that playfelt's use of the phrase, in the context it was used, is totally legitimate. And she is absolutely right about that catering/coddling parenting style being a big-time cause of the behaviour that was described.

Her suggestions, and mine and others like it, are not always said in a hand-holding way that validates a poster's parenting, because sometimes people need to be shaken a little bit to be woken up, since just like when they use that coddling method on their kids, it doesn't work with the parents either!

[ladyjbug]

There was definitely a post about being locked in a crate, Jammies. The parent did not pull that wording out of thin air. I remember it clearly and am still shocked. I can see the parent poster taking some offense to Playfelt's post, but Island29 did not call out playfelt for writing the post. Also playfelt's post is in response to daycarewhisperer's post and she softens it a bit while alluding to the fact that a previous poster mentioned that daycare is not the place for learning to socialize. That is daycarewhisperer's inflammatory post, that is now removed.