How to approach?

[Skysue]

I did an interview a while back with a family that had two girls. A one year old and 2.5 year old. They were the heaviest children I have ever seen in real life. The older girl was so heavy she couldn't climb the basement stairs. She got really winded before we got up six stairs and had to stop. Just walking around in my playroom winded them. I cut the interview short because I knew I couldn't accommodate them. They wouldn't fit in my equipment and they wouldn't be able to make it two houses down the sidewalk for our walks. I would have had to hire an assistant for them to adapt my environment to meet their needs.

It was very sad that kids could get that heavy that young.

I would never turn a child away based on the issues you just posted about. This little man needs me to help mold him and guide him to have healthy core values and to help him identify the best food choices to make.

My group lives outside going on walks, hikes, we ride bikes and are always at the park. In the winter we dance a ton and are as active as possible. Getting physical is what he needs.

I am so saddened by your rude remarks and hope that one day you will be convicted of your un loving heart.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I would suggest sending all the parents a newsletter. Even though a child isn't overweight doesn't mean they are healthy. I would be willing to bet that almost every family could use a reminder and it sounds like you have a good handle on what to eat and do and this way no one feels "picked on".

In the newsletter I would include things like the importance of eating healthy, the things to avoid, food to avoid sending to daycare if applicable, some healthy recipes, a copy of your menu, some exercise tips like biking, walking etc that they can do as a family. If your up to it, I would also suggest trying one new food a week at daycare and having the children help pick which food to try that week. Or try a new recipe one a month...things like that.

Good luck and good on you for caring!

[playfelt]

I did an interview a while back with a family that had two girls. A one year old and 2.5 year old. They were the heaviest children I have ever seen in real life. The older girl was so heavy she couldn't climb the basement stairs. She got really winded before we got up six stairs and had to stop. Just walking around in my playroom winded them. I cut the interview short because I knew I couldn't accommodate them. They wouldn't fit in my equipment and they wouldn't be able to make it two houses down the sidewalk for our walks. I would have had to hire an assistant for them to adapt my environment to meet their needs.

It was very sad that kids could get that heavy that young.

I don't think you are being mean by not accepting them into your daycare you are being realistic. There are many reasons a child does not mesh well with our program and being unable to keep up to the demands of the program - walking to the bus stop, fitting into the high chair, not asking the caregiver to lift over 50 lbs on a regular basis - there are weight restrictions in daycare centres for lifting. It also tells you that the family values do not mesh with those of the daycare. You can't save the entire world from their thoughtless parents and it is wrong to think you can. Important to know when to say nope - next as the daycare saying goes.....

[Skysue]

I disagree as I usually only base my decision on a child's behavior, parents style of discipline, and if myself and the parents are on the same page in general.

Making a judgment weather a child can walk 2 houses down the street based on there weight to me is a clear case of discrimination. It is not the child's fault there parents are making poor choices or if genetics play a role in the situation?

[playfelt]

After you have carried that 60 lb child home 3 blocks from the park while pulling your wagon of other toddlers then you can decide if it is still something you are prepared to do a daily basis cause it isn't his fault.

[Skysue]

Wow is all that I can say!

I have been there before with a very sick 7 year old so I put her in my double stroller and chose to carry the 20 pound one year old while I pushed my stroller with one hand.

I never leave on a long walk or hike without a stroller or wagon in case of emergencies, I also carry a medical kit!

I suppose I'm just a pathetic person because I actually give a darn about the kids I watch.

[mimi]

childhood obesity = early on set of heart disease, stroke, diabetes and high blood pressure to name the major ailments. Young obese adults are getting older folk diseases now.

[eoinsmom]

I've been reading a lot of Ellyn Satter books lately regarding eating, obesity, nutrition, etc. in children. I would recommend checking them out. There could be other issues at play leading to overeating or this child being heavy, and she offers advice in an easy to read and non judgemental manner. Couldn't hurt to suggest it to parents if they also recognize that eating is an issue.

[JennJubie]

childhood obesity = early on set of heart disease, stroke, diabetes and high blood pressure to name the major ailments. Young obese adults are getting older folk diseases now.

I knew someone who had a heart attack at 18. He'd been obese from a very young age.

[sunnydays]

Skysue, I think it's great that you are able to accommodate this child and try to help him. Be aware that the parents may not be on board (from the sounds of it) and there is only so much you can do on your end. I do disagree though, that it is mean or uncaring to not accept extremely obese toddlers into our daycares. Personally, I would not be able to manage it myself. I have a six seater stroller, so I can accommodate many toddlers and babies and if they are tired walking, I can put them in. But, I do not allow my 45 pound 5 year old to ride in it because he excedes the weight limit of 40 pounds per child and it also makes it extremely hard for me to push. I avoid carrying and lifting the children as much as possible because I have had lower back issues and do not want them to flare up again. There is no way I would be able to lift a 60 pound child on a regular basis without suffering physically and ultimately putting myself at risk of having to lose my daycare due to back problems. I would not be able to accommodate a toddler or baby that was obese as they are at the age where they often need to be lifted or carried and I would not be able to manage that. I also cannot accommodate children with special needs for a similar reason. I am not trained to help them and I physically cannot manage it while caring for 4 other children plus my own. This is not prejudiced, it is realistic and knowing my own limits. If you are able to do it, that is wonderful, but those of us who know we are not able are not uncaring or mean or discriminatory...we just know our own limits.