Any advice for helping this dcb adapt to his new surroundings

[martymonty]

Hi
I am into my second week with a one year old little boy, of course when I interviewed there were things that the mom and dad did not tell me, like he has NEVER been put down to sleep on his own, they rock him, sway him etc. and then once he's asleep they carefully lie him down and tip toe out of the room. Second, he is swaddled, even at a year and he won't apparently go to sleep unless he is.
He cried for so long yesterday at nap time, he just would not go to sleep and he was exhausted. I am not sure that this will work out but don't want to give up just yet as he has never had a babysitter and never been where he cannot see someone all the time (his parents live in a bungalow and have never used a playpen) I've managed to get him used to either a play pen or a play yard, I can even leave the room for short periods of time to answer the door, washroom break, etc. but the non sleeping is driving me insane and wearing me down. I did talk to them and said they have to be on the same page or I cannot continue to take him, but you are never really sure if they will do what you ask or not. Any ideas how I can transition this little guy to sleeping on his own so he can get some rest.

[martymonty]

BTW if your dck never stopped crying, would you call the mom or dad to come and pick them up or put up with it for the day

[mattsmom]

Wow, that is difficult, especially for naptime when you yourself need a break. I have had little ones that, after a good transition period, continued to just cry and cry all day. I had to let one baby girl go because she would cry all day, everyday, for so long that she would make herself vomit.

Currently, I have a 12 mos. old boy that I've had for a week, that cries at the drop of a hat. Every time I try to move to a different part of the room, have to tend to another child, go to the bathroom, etc, he screams bloody murder. It's only been a week though, so I'm sticking it out.

[martymonty]

what is the average length of time that you "stick" it out with these little ones.....parents really do not do their child any good by waiting until the last minute to secure daycare.....this little guy stops crying the second I pick him up so it's leading me to believe he's carried around a LOT, as for sleeping, why do parents think it's ok to constantly put their children to bed by rocking them, this woman does it for up to 1/2 hour every night for the past year....ughhhh...par t of the job I seriously hate, we are the ones left with having to adjust these children to things that really should have been started right from the start....this one is here for up to 9 hours a day and of course the children here almost never hear crying so they are not very happy and telling their moms when they pick up how noisey it was and how much this little guy cries

[mattsmom]

Yeah, I totally get it. Before this little guy started, my group was very happy and got along great. Now they have to listen to constant screaming and so do their parents at pick up and drop off.

I usually try to give it at least a month to really adjust, but every case is different. I can't be coddling him all the time to comfort him when I have other little ones that need my attention as well.

[martymonty]

Mattsmom how long did you keep the one little one before you let her go. This little one slept for 40 min. and started crying again and to boot he has a fever of 102.5 from having his needles yesterday and mom or dad is not coming until close to 5 pm. Even though I called about the fever. Six days of this and I am exhausted, in 28 years of doing daycare, I have never had a child like this

[Crayola kiddies]

I have it in my policy book that if I call for a pick up due to illness parents must arrive within the hour. I have just added to my policy book that parents are to schedule dr appts requiring needles on Fridays so the child maybe be at home for the weekend in case of an adverse reaction.

I think its time to have an upfront conversation with the parents .... Letting them know that you have only seen minimal if any improvement in the two weeks and its starting to affect the other children and they need to start tonight changing things around ..... No rocking, no carrying around, stop swaddling, nap him in the play yard in a room other then his, leave his line of sight for brief periods of time Ect ..... And if there is not enough improvement by next Friday then that's it. But you do gave a responsibility to the other children to provide them with a peaceful environment in which to spend their days .

[bright sparks]

The needles likely haven't helped this situation at all, that was poor planning on the parent's part but what ya gonna do, these things sometimes just work out this way, and if they are new parent's they may have not thought this would happen. Parent's should not have brought him if he had a fever, end of story, and if it came on later, they should have collected regardless of the cause, that is a pretty hefty fever.

[mattsmom]

Mattsmom how long did you keep the one little one before you let her go. This little one slept for 40 min. and started crying again and to boot he has a fever of 102.5 from having his needles yesterday and mom or dad is not coming until close to 5 pm. Even though I called about the fever. Six days of this and I am exhausted, in 28 years of doing daycare, I have never had a child like this

Oh, see the fever is another thing. If they have a fever that high, parents get a call to pick up right away.
As for how long I kept the little girl for, I think ended up being a month and a half before I finally told the mom that I couldn't do it anymore. But as I said, every situation is different. If you feel you can't handle it anymore and the parents aren't cooperating at all to make the transition easier, then do what you feel you have to in order to keep your sanity.

[Momof4]

I've been in those shoes and had children scream for a couple of months before settling in and I'm constantly talking to the parents about not picking up the child at their first whimper and helping them learn to self-soothe and be more independent. I've just had experience with an Attachment Parenting family where the Mom still carries her 2.5 yo around on her body and co-sleeps, etc. Never again! Now I ask people about the parenting philosophies in my pre-screening before the interview. Good luck.

Don't you have a fever or vaccination policy? My families must vaccinate on Fridays and keep their children home for 48 hours in case of fever. My fever policy states that at 100 F the parents are getting a call for pickup.