Feeling Really Used.

[Racing Mom]

Hello everyone, this is my first Form and could really use your help.

I have a new client that has been with me for a month and I am having big issues with communication from the parents.

They have 2 kids and only registered Youngest with me.(oldest in School)

1. When we talked about the contract for the one child I outlined that my hours are 7am-5:30pm in which they were okay with. When they gave the contract back they crossed out the 5:30pm and Wrote 6pm. Being nice I thought okay what's an extra 1/2 hour, so I left it at that.

2. They mentioned that the husband works from home, but once a month he has to go into work and on this day would it be possible to watch both kids(youngest all day and oldest before and after school) and pick up time would be 7pm as the mother takes the train to get home. seeing as it would be once a month I said yes. Well since they have started with me the times he has to go into the office has changed from once a month to 2 times a month to 2 times a week.

So yesterday I wrote a not to them saying that I have changed my pick up hours back to 5:30pm and all the days I'm closed for holidays. Being nice I told her that I will still be available to watch both of the kids when he works at office, pick up being 7pm. The wife seemed unhappy when she read it after pick up and told me she would talk to her husband about the change. So the next day at drop off he told me that they would do there best to pick up at that time but he will be going away for a week and a half in June and that the wife will be picking up at 7pm during that time(he was unsure of the exact days)

My question to you is what should I do in this situation? I was to care for one child not two and my pick up time should not have to change because they need it to Right? Am I being too nice so they think they can tell me what they need and I should do it?

[Lee-Bee]

By not calling them out on changing the hours on your contract you made it clear to them that they are calling the shots, not you. They have no reason to believe that you mean what you say because you haven't been doing what you say.

You'll need to either accept that you are letting them be the boss...or you'll need to make it clear that they are not to follow your rules. This means you have to be firm and NEVER let them call the shots.

It's like working with toddlers. If you tell them 'no' but then let them do as they want you will spend a lot more time and energy trying to establish you mean what you say because they will push harder and harder to test your limits.

If you close at 7pm, you close at 7pm whether dad is out of town or not. They need to change moms work hours that week or have someone else do pick up. They don't get to just tell you when they will be coming late. It's just not an option.

Give a letter of termination unless they sign a new contract (that they haven't made their own changes too). this contract will clearly state your hours and hat there is no exception.

I also suggest you DO NOT have a late fee for this family...as they will take that as you just accepting more money to come when they want. It will not be a punishment for them...it will be permission to continue as is. In your contract state that if they are late ONCE they get a written warning, late TWICE they get a letter of termination of care effective immediately.

[3rdtimesacharm]

Absolutely terminate this family immediately!! Secondly, STICK TO YOUR CONTRACT!! Do not bend any rules for them or anyone!! Your business, YOUR hours!! You made the first mistake by accepting her crossing out your original hours and not saying anything about it. Now they feel you will bend any and all rules to their liking.
Drop them immediately!

[MsBell]

You are being USED! If you really want to keep this disrepectful family, then tell them that pick up is 530, and after that there will be a late fee, also they need to ask if you are able to take the kids that late for a full week (there is no way in hell I would agree to that. I have my own family and needs, and a 12 hour day for a week and a half....and if I agreed they would pay double in advance!) or you could just terminate them, and that is what I would do, and by that, I mean it would be immediate, they would not be back tomorrow!

[Busy ECE mommy]

I wouldn't have let them change the pickup time in the first place. You work 7-530 period. If they wanted an extra 1/2 hour then charge late pickup fees(like $1 a minute) I would never have allowed a 6 pm or 7pm pickup. You close at 530, even if it's only twice a month. We have a life too! You shouldn't be expected to work 12 hr days. A pickup that was 1.5 hrs after closing would be an additional $90 per child at my house- a pretty good deterrent. Keep your contract at 7-530 and put some hefty late fees in place-due in cash that day, or care won't continue until it's paid. If you bend the rules at the start, they will manipulate you all the way along. It's a slippery slope...

[mattsmom]

I think the problem is that even though you had told them what you expect and what your hours are, they have been used to you bending the rules and your expectations for them. So they think that it won't matter...you'll just go along with what they change things to. Now that you've put your foot down, they are having a fit because they aren't getting their way. Which unfortunately happens way too often in this business.

I would suggest seriously thinking about what you are willing to be flexible on and what you're not willing to do anymore. Then let them know and if they don't like it, you can remind them what your original agreement was.

[Dreamalittledream]

My best advice is to pick a closing time and stick to it...no exceptions. No over-time fee will be worth it. I did this too my first couple of years as a favor to a family...it only increased in need and I got more frustrated and could feel myself burning out fast. The child was a dream, but the situation left me feeling used and resentful. Ironically, this was the one family that never went above and beyond in terms of gratitude: Perhaps a paid day off, a Christmas present, or even a thank you. I cannot put in to words the relief I felt on that child's last day when I presented her family with a beautiful photo book of her time here, and passed her on with the knowledge that she was more than well prepped for her new pre-school...such a wonderful feeling to get my life back. I happened to run into this child & her dad a little over a year after her departure...she climbed up in my lap and cuddled in as Dad and I caught up....I was shocked that she remembered me!

[Racing Mom]

Thank you.
I understand were you are all coming from and just wanted to know if I was right for feeling the way I do. I will make sure that in the future I will stick to what I have said and not go over and beyond as it implies that I'm willing to change my life/business for others.

[mickyc]

Oh my! Don't ever make exceptions for any family because you will always regret it.

I would tell them the times are not working for you at all!! No more past 530!!!! They will leave but oh well!! Stick to your own rules because if you don't the families certainly won't!!

[sandylynn]

Personally I find it extremely APPALLING that they took YOUR contract and crossed out the pick up time to suite their needs! REALLY??? I would have looked at them and said ...ummm....we seem to have a communication problem here....I didn't give you this contract for your proof reading and perusal....this is my contract and if you wish to adhere to what the contract says...by all means go ahead and sign it....PERIOD....I JUST DON'T GET PEOPLE....THE ENTITLEMENT!...I have had parents before that have this ATTITUDE...like they are doing me a favor coming here...like I owe them the cheapest rates....the longest hours....'GO TO A DAYCARE CENTRE...PAY THEIR RATES AND SEE WHAT YOU GET AWAY WITH.....NOTHING...S O DON'T PULL YOUR CRAP ON ME