Anybody have some pro tips for a new Mom?

[CalgaryMum]

Hello

I have posted recently about a little boy that I am watching alongside my younger daughter. I am wondering what the best way is to deal with this behaviour. He is very clingy and I can't really go 5 feet without him crying and wanting to be held. I am at the moment giving in and being a bit more caring seeing how this is a new experience for him and I think his own mom coddles him a bit. However be that as it may, I know I can't keep it up forever. I have to get chores done! He is a very sweet boy and I don't want to spoil him too much but I also need to know what is an appropriate approach to this situation.

Thanks for taking the time to read this

[torontokids]

Don't pick him up all the time. When he's crying to be held then don't pick him up. When he's happy and playing, be on the floor next to him, give him lot's of positive praise. It is just part of the adjustment. He'll adapt and adjust.

On a side note: I think this job is a lot harder if it is not your sole focus. If you plan on spending a lot of time doing chores then this may not be realistic and may just leave you frustrated. That being said, I do daycare related chores during daycare hours e.g. wash up from snack, lunch etc but things like my own family's laundry, cleaning and cooking is done during nap time or after hours. I understand you have a small group (which is sometimes even more work because they struggle to entertain themselves) so you may have more flexibility then some of us.

[Lee-Bee]

I have to agree with torontokids. This job is not one that can be easily done if you expect to be taking care of the house at the same time. You can do house work during nap, but realistically you need some of that time to relax before the kids wake and you need to tend to daycare stuff too.

I believe you said the kids were about 9 and 14months? It is unlikely you will get much of anything done in the course of a day with those ages.

I now have my own 26month old daughter and a 30month old DCG and I can get some stuff done around the house but ultimately a good chunk of my day is still spent on meals, bathroom, nap routines along with arts, stories, directed play etc. I do make them go off and play on their own for chunks of time so I can do house work...but they are much older than your kids. DCG still struggles with this time as she has trouble entertaining herself and wants to follow me around. My daughter long ago learned to self entertain and is good for chunks of time, but she wonders why DCgirl is following me and starts following DCG (and me).

Make sure your expectations are appropriate so you aren't getting frustrated. Yes, there are times the kids have to entertain themselves so you can prep food, pee and tend to others. But at those ages you are not likely to get more than 5 minutes from them if you are out of sight!

I would suggest getting a routine going where you are managing laundry and folding it while sitting on the couch near them (with them playing on their own). Find other chores you can do really close so they can see you and feel you close so they are comfortable playing. Leave the other chores for nap time and after hours.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I also don't pick up child, especially in their first few weeks, unless genuinely hurt. It hard when a child is struggling but it is only fair to set expectation of child. Instead of picking up, I take lot of time on floor with new child, making sure interacting and being included. I have lot of cuddles without picking up new child.

However, I too agree that having household errands is not okay. If your day home is open for business, the children are your primary focus. There will be days when you get nothing done except the lunch dishes. Many of us cram these things into nap time but some days, they don't all go down together and nothing extra happens.

When work from home, in any capacity, it easy to think you can do household tasks and let children play but just like manager working from home, you being paid to work not to put household errands as priority. It just a bonus if you get couple of little household tasks achieved. View it like running an errand at lunchtime. If you worked outside the house, you would not be able to put on load of laundry or other family tasks in work hours. Just because you happen to be in your home, the same applies. I find if you have that mindset, it easier.

[CalgaryMum]

I don't have a day home, I'm just watching a friends child and have come here for guidance. I have been able to do a few things around the house if I have him by my side. Like cleaning the floors with a cloth and plain water, he will join in if I give him a dry cloth and pretend to clean the floor. I wouldn't do anything that takes too much attention away from the little ones.

It seems like all he wants is for me to hold him, and I haven't read the replies recently which say not to pick him up, and I'm afraid that I have done so. When he first arrives, I will pick him up and reassure him Mom is coming back soon, but after a few minutes I put him down and try to distract with some activity or toy, but alas, today all he wants is to be held. So now that I've made that mistake, how can I work around this behaviour?

[Lee-Bee]

Can you remind us how old he is, how often you watch him (days and hours) and how long you have been watching him so far? This will help us give some advice.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

So now that I've made that mistake, how can I work around this behaviour?

Stop picking him up. He will go wild because he's expect you to do it now but you just have to tough it out. Get on floor and play, interact lot, but do not pick up. Should improve in 1-2 weeks.

When he not crying, that is time to pick up and have cuddle. Then he learn lots of love still but when it appropriate. The minute he cries, you must put down.